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Description: Discover your artist's eye

17/1/2014

18 Comments

 
In order to be  good fiction writers, we need to discover our artist's or child's eye; the ability to notice all those little details the ordinary person overlooks, the ability to see things as if for the first time - the stain of coffee on a sugar cube  or the clump of weeds growing up through tarmac.   These details are only tiny, but speak volumes.  These are the things that help to give fiction its illusion of reality.  
(From 'The Five Minute Writer' by Margret Garaghty, 2009)


description_sight.pdf
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description_sight_and_sound.pdf
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description_sight_and_smell.pdf
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Activity
Read the extracts of excellent descriptions above taken from this book.  Notice the the details the author has chosen to focus on.



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Now try writing your own description.  Example: think of a place - maybe somewhere you visit regularly - and try to recall the small details.  Never mind the spatial arrangement - that's the easy bit.  Go for the little things; the fabric on the seats, the colours, the textures, the things you can hear and smell. One carefully chosen detail is worth more than a page of flowery description. 
18 Comments
REBECCA
22/1/2014 06:03:01 am

The hippogriff had almond shaped eyes glowing in the darkness,its feathers were ruffled with white specks dotted about on them, its clawed feet were clenched,leathery and scaly and its hind was smooth with fine golden hairs attatched all over.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:16:20 am

Excellent small details Rebecca, your description creates a clear picture of the creature. Well done.

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Heather M
22/1/2014 06:10:11 am

The silky sand singed my feet, yet was irresitably soft to touch as i walked shoeless down along the baking hot beach. Baking hot still after the midday sun yet cooling rapidly as the flaming sun sank slowly beneath the cystal blue waters that streched endlessly westward. A small crap scuttled soundlessly over the sunkissed pebbles that led to the innocent ocean. It past a crisp packet, the only sign of human use on the deserted beach. The packet fluttered gently in the tepid breeze. As darkness crept in the water turned black, it's unknown depths suddenly uninviting.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:09:33 am

Lovely small details Heather - I love the crab scuttling past a discarded crisp packet - very realistic! The last line about the water is very atmospheric and hints at foreboding.

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Samuel H
22/1/2014 06:12:42 am

His eyes were trusting. I held my gaze. They were emerald green and had black dots in the middle. Black stripes were painted on firey fur. He was so close now. I wanted to reach out my hand to tuch his fur. His mouth started quivering behind the cage. He looked so beautiful, I began to reach out my hand. But then a little creature was thrown in. As quick as lightning, the majestic beast turned his head and pounced. He ripped and shredded the innocent beast apart. And then he turned his head.But I was away. This majestic beast who looked so grand was a predator and a killer. It seemed you could never trust anything, no matter how great they seem

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:11:59 am

I like how you never say what the creature in the cage is but your description shows the reader what it is. When you say his eyes were trusting, do you mean that he trusted you or that his eyes hypnotised you to trust him?

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Isabella
22/1/2014 06:14:21 am

Inspired by The Scorpio Races
Raising its head from the once-plump corpse, the horse glared at me with bloodshot eyes, crusted with sleep. Baring its teeth in a twisted sneer, I couldn't help but notice the flecks of blood that stained the yellowed enamel. As it snorted, green-tinged vapour carpeted the dead leaves that stood beneath our feet The wind-played mane flowed aorund its neck in a cape of midnight. Stomping its hooves, I saw little sparks, each with a miniture sun in its belly, shoot like comets before dying. One of these sparks landed on a daisy, that was hopefully growing, incinirating it in a heartbeat.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:14:35 am

Very original Isabella. My favourite part is the description of the sparks - beautiful. I think it would have better effect if you said the daisy was growing hopefully, rather than hopefully growing as this makes the personification of the daisy clearer.

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REBECCA
22/1/2014 06:19:15 am

the dog had deep brown pools with a small speck of black for eyes, it stared out of them with a tiny ruffled dark snout twitching, its head was cocked to one side looking slightly confused, its light brown fur mixed with dark brown mixed between lay down quietly and silkily and it was the same with its body, smooth and silky, ad finally its shaggy tail wagged very lightly and happily.

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Jenny
22/1/2014 06:20:44 am

The lumpy rear of the reptile flumped away over the autumn-struck ground; hurridly prepiring for hiberntion. Leaving a nauseating stench in his wake.

As far as toads go, he was quite a pleasent toad. His boyles were far more beautiful than any other toad's that you could possibly imagine and his luciously wide mouth helped him to get all the ladies. His eyes were thin and green but his pupil was black and as piercing as Severous Snapes.

And that was him him. That was Toad.

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Anne Pierson
22/1/2014 08:52:09 am


WOW! This is A-MAZE-ING

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Jen's biggest fan
22/1/2014 08:52:52 am

He sounds like a nice guy.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:18:06 am

I love the idea of a flumping, smelling, boil covered toad with a luscious mouth who gets all the ladies! Brilliant description and wonderful humorous effect!!

Holly 'n Ruth
22/1/2014 06:20:57 am

The waves lapped against the perfect golden sandy shore. Each one rolling out before its pervious had even returned. The palm trees cast long slim shadows across the small island and brought out the tiny imperfections on the trunk of the tree. Coconuts the scatted on the disrupted sand. The dents, from where people had picked up the delicious ripe coconuts, were now filled with small smooth pebbles as the water passed over them. A small lump of emerald green glass sat in the bottom of the crater and glistened in the sunlight.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:19:56 am

Lovely use of language and great attention paid to the small details. You've used your artist's eye well girls.

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Amy & Georgia
22/1/2014 06:23:01 am

there is snow piled up on the floor, drowing all who dare pass through it to the enchanted castle which towered over the village looking on with menacing eyes. the faint glow of lanterns flickered out through nearby windows.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 09:21:37 am

Take care with tenses girls - it should either be past or present tense, not both. Great personification used.

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Mrs Robinson
22/1/2014 06:37:45 am

Just a note to all writers - before you publish your work for all the world to see, spend a minute reading your own work back to yourself before you press 'submit'. There are plenty of mistakes on here which could have been avoided with a quick proof read! Some excellent descriptive writing so far though folks, well done!

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